Bangkok Dangerous User Review

Bangkok Dangerous reviews

Rating

1/5

Author

shitbird66

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Best thing

When it was over

Worst Thing

Everything, but mainly Nicholas Cage, and his hair

Review

I had taken my bike in for a carburettor service, and had a few hours to kill until it was finished. So I decided to do something I very rarely do, go to the cinema. I mean I watch thousands of movies, but on dvd, as I can partake of some relaxants, smoke, pause it when I need to nip to the loo etc.

So I save my cinema visits for special occasions, such as Star Wars Episode 3, the premier of the Omen on the 6th day of the 6th month, 2006, you get the idea.

Anyway, I digress. Part of the reason I am so irritated with this film is, not counting the R50 I wasted on the admission, that it has spoilt my special occasion cimema policy.

It was not much of a choice, as I had seen all the good showing attractions, and was left between Mama Mia and this pile of steaming excrement.

It was so bad, I dont know where to begin. Nicholas Cage could have been out-acted by Larry the Cable Guy. He made Keanu Reeves, at his most catatonic, look as animated as Jim Carrey in Ace Ventura.

His hair was completely horrible, weird, eerie and disturbing, I would rather trust Michael Jackson to run a pre school than I would allow that hairstylist near my locks.

The storyline was banal, the love (dis)interest was plain, boring, and as believable as Elton John wrestling alligators.

The action sequences were flat and unbelievable. The story hackneyed and crappy, and I couldnt believe that the other cinema goers all sat through it without a grimace or laugh. It probably was, however, the day trip from the local home for Special Needs People.

All in all, I regret watching it, and have not been as resentful of shelling over hard earned rands since I saw Forest Gump.

Anyway, I collected my bike, and whilst riding home, thought to myself, if I hadnt been wearing my bike club colours (I would never live it down if any of my biker mates knew I went to see it), I would have gone to see Mama Mia, which was far better, more enjoyable, fun, and even an ABBA song singing Pierce Brosnan is more intimidating and hitman-like than Nic Cage.

Without doubt, one of the worst films I have ever seen. I would have given it 0 stars, even that is being generous, but it would not let me post unless I put at least 1 in.

AVOID AT ALL COSTS!

Date reviewed