Golden Globes 2012: Ricky Gervais’ memorable jokes

Ricky Gervais’ latest stint as Golden Globeshasn't got the best reviews (to put it mildly), with critics complaining his jokes were just a bit tame.

But what what do you think? Here's the funnyman's most memorable quips from this year's ceremony - let us know if you think he got it right.

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- “Tonight you get Britain's biggest comedian, hosting the world's second biggest awards show on America's third biggest network [NBC]. Sorry, is it fourth? it's fourth."

-  "For any of you who don't know, the Golden Globes are just like the Oscars, but without all that esteem."

-  "The Globes are to the Oscars what Kim Kardashian is to Kate Middleton. A bit louder, a bit trashier, a bit drunker and more easily bought. Allegedly."

-  "Who needs the Oscars? Not me and not Eddie Murphy [original host of next month's Oscars]. When the man who said yes to ‘Norbit’ says no to you, you know you're in trouble... I love Eddie Murphy. He loves dressing up, doesn't he. Versatile. He's versatile. No, he is.”

- “Bit of trivia for you. Eddie Murphy and Adam Sandler between them played all the parts in the movie ‘The Help’. Isn't that brilliant. They were brilliant. I can’t believe they're not here. Or maybe they are. They're masters of disguise.”

- "[On a list of rules given to him by the HFPA] No profanity. That's fine. I've got a huge vocabulary. No nudity. See, that's a shame. Because I've got a huge ... vocabulary. But a tiny penis."

- "I'm not to libel anyone. And I must not mention Mel Gibson this year. Not his private life, his politics, his recent films, and especially not Jodie Foster's ‘Beaver’. I haven't seen it myself. I've spoken to a lot of guys - they haven't seen it either but that doesn't mean it's not good."”

- [On 'Boardwalk Empire'] "It's about a load of immigrants who came to America about a hundred years ago, and they got involved in bribery and corruption and worked their way up into high society. But enough about the Hollywood Foreign Press.''
 
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- [To winners] "You don't need to thank everyone you've ever met or members of your family, who have done nothing. Just the main two - your agent and God."

- "Our next presenter is the queen of pop - not you Elton, sit down. Please welcome Madonna."

- [On Antonio Banderas and Salma Hayek] "They're ridiculously gorgeous specimens, they're extremely talented and probably very interesting. I'm not sure - I couldn't understand a [expletive] word they said."

- "What you don't know about Colin Firth is he's very racist. I've also seen him punch a little blind kitten."

- "It's been an amazing year in show business. It's not all been good news. What's with all the divorces? What's going on? Arnold and Maria, J. Lo and Mark Anthony, Ashton and Demi. Kim Kardashian and some guy no one will remember. He wasn't around long. Seventy-two days. A marriage that lasted 72 days. I've sat through longer James Cameron acceptance speeches.

- [On Justin Bieber and his paternity test] “What a waste of a test that would have been. The only way he could impregnate a girl if if he borrowed Martha Stewart’s old turkey baster.”

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- "'Bridesmaids', one of my favorite comedies of the year. The girls finally proved that they can be as raunchy as men. Farting, burping, cursing, performing wild sex acts, even pooping in the sink. I actually heard for research the cast spent the weekend with Dame Helen Mirren. She's dreadful. Honestly, you don't see a lot of it because she's got good PR, but she's off the rails."

– [Introducing Natalie Portman] “Last year, our next presenter won both the Golden Globe and the Oscar for her work in 'Black Swan'. This year, she took some time out to have a baby. Consequently, she’s been nominated for nothing. Really pathetic. But she learned that valuable lesson you all already knew: Never put family first. Please welcome the very foolish Natalie Portman.”

- [The Hollywood Foreign Press] "do an awful lot for charity and they're a nonprofit organization. Just like NBC."

- "Hope you enjoyed the champagne and the goodie bag and the gold (sprinkled on the dessert). Hope it took your mind off the recession."