10 New Year resolutions for Hollywood for 2014

If, like us, you’re back at work wallowing in a pit of despair following a festive period fueled by biscuits, fortified wine, and piles of congealed leftover turkey, then a New Year’s resolution is what you need to start 2014 in a positive state of mind.

[The biggest movie flops of 2013 revealed]

From getting more exercise, to ditching caffeine, or even just watching more films, everyone’s making resolutions (even if they know they won’t stick to them), so why shouldn’t Hollywood?

We’ve got a few suggestions to help the movie industry get in shape for the new year.

As Kevin Bacon would say (we’ll get to him in a minute), this one is a total no-brainer.

There was a lot of chatter about the Bechdel Test in 2013 (quick recap for the uninitiated: To pass, a film has to have at least two women in it, who talk to each other, about something besides a man), some films passed including ‘Fast & Furious 6’, ‘Frozen’, 'Kick-Ass 2', but a lot more didn’t, including some pretty big hitters like ’Star Trek Into Darkness’, ‘Monsters University’, and ‘Pacific Rim’.

[Sweden introduces 'gender bias rating' to cinemas]

We’re not suggesting the Bechdel Test is a clearcut test for the presence of strong female characters in films, heck, ‘Gravity’ fails, but you wouldn’t call it a sexist film would you? It’s much more complex than that, however when studies suggest that just 18% of films released in 2013 featured a female in a starring role, compared to 46% in 2011 (source), you can tell there is some serious inequality at work in the film industry.

Perhaps its time to set a new resolution studios? More strong female characters please. And more opportunities for female directors too while you’re at it.

We’re not claiming that all remakes are bad ('Wizard of Oz' is a remake, remember), but Hollywood’s recent track record at reimagining beloved movies for modern, or Western audiences has been spotty at best.

‘Evil Dead’ just about justified its existence with a few new ideas, but otherwise 2013 was another dire year for remakes.

The much-delayed 'Carrie' came and went despite a strong cast, while Spike Lee's inexplicable western version of Korean classic 'Oldboy' proved one of the biggest flops of the decade.

It’s a bit too late for 2014 seeing as we’re already expecting remakes/reboots/reimaginings of ‘RoboCop’, ‘Godzilla’ (although this does look pretty good), and ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’, but movie execs; please don't greenlight any more.

Hollywood needs to realise less is more when plugging a film. Don’t get us wrong, we love a good movie poster and there’s nothing like a good new trailer to get the juices flowing, but it’s the sheer volume of them nowadays that really gets our goat.

The standard pattern for a movie release now goes – first image, first poster, teaser for teaser trailer, teaser trailer reveal, international teaser trailer reveal, more posters, UK posters, more images, first full trailer (teased via Vine first, of course), international full trailer, Red Band trailer, character posters for every goddamned character, second trailer, TV spots… you get the idea.

[The best movie trailers of 2013]

It means that if you follow a film through its production you're utterly sick of it by the time it actually reaches cinema screens. Plus you're likely to have seen many of the best scenes already. More mystery please.

2014 is here and you know what that means? Science has just one year left to invent hover boards, flying cars, and those self-fitting jackets that we were promised in ‘Back To The Future II’.

It also means that we’re approaching the 30th anniversary of the release of the original film which, from a film marketers perspective, would be a fine time to announce a remake, reboot or reimagining. But let us make this clear. It wouldn’t. In fact, it never will be.

[LEGO releases 'Back To The Future' set]

With so many remakes of 80s classic recently, it's no surprise that there have been whisperings of a remake of Robert Zemeckis' time-travel classic for a while, some even linking Daniel Radcliffe to the Marty McFly role, but that's all they are for now: rumours.

The ‘Back To The Future’ are timeless movies that will be enjoyed by fans for generations to come. They won’t care that the effects aren’t up to modern standards, or that the sequel’s charming predictions for life in 2015 were way off, they’ll just appreciate the films for what they are – stone-cold classics, in no need of updating.

Anyone who has been to the cinema lately will know that deep sense of dread that comes with the knowledge that sometime, sooner or later, you’re going to have sit through one of those execrable mobile network ads featuring Kevin Bacon.

These aren’t the 30 second abridged teasers you get at home on the telly, oh no, these are fully-fledged near feature-length adverts. We know Kevin lost a lot of money thanks to the Madoff Ponzi scheme, but surely he's earned enough back now?

[Pixar's most annoying characters]

Seriously Kev, please, stop doing those adverts. Stop shilling mobile networks, faking that awful Anglophilic ‘sense of humour’, and get back to doing what we know and love you for – being an awesome, scene-stealing, character actor.

No, seriously, come back. Peter Jackson may have been vilified for his use of 48 frames per second cameras on ‘The Hobbit’, with many people bemoaning the TV-aesthetic those extra frames seemed to evoke, but (whisper) we thought it was kinda cool.

Yes it was weird. Yes it took some getting used to. Yes it did make things seem hyper-real and not ‘filmy’, but you know what? At least he was trying something new.

We’d like to see more film-makers embrace HFR to see what can be achieved, after all, if they never tried anything new in the movies, we’d still be watching silent black and white films.

James Cameron is rumoured to be using it for his ‘Avatar’ sequels, so if its good enough for the director of the highest-grossing movie of all time, it has to worth a second look right?

The much-loved Canadian actor is long overdue a comeback, so why can’t it be in 2014, the year ‘Ghostbusters' (one of his breakout roles) turns 30?

The comic star quit movies back in 1997 to spend more time with his kids after he lost his wife to cancer, but he released his first album in eight years in 2013, so perhaps a return to movies after all this time doesn’t seem too outlandish after all.

[Dan Aykroyd: Ghostbusters 3 could shoot in 2014]

He recently suggested he’d be interested in reprising his role as Louis Tully in the long-gestating Ghostbusters 3, but only if the script was right. Here’s hoping.

See also: Joe Pesci, Dan Aykroyd, and Sean Connery.

After the box office success of the 50th anniversary 'Doctor Who' special ‘The Day of the Doctor’, we think it’s time more event TV was shown in cinemas.

Of course, the ‘Doctor Who’ 50th anniversary doesn’t happen every year, but with the quality of television shows ever on the ascendence, maybe 2014 will be the year that more TV shows make that leap.

[Michael Jackson was nearly Doctor Who]

It won’t be right for every show, you wouldn’t want to watch an episode of ‘Casualty’ for example, but for something cinematic like ‘Game of Thrones’ or even ‘Sherlock’, we think fans would be happy to shell out to see a season finale on the big screen.

With TV heading more and more towards a VOD model, bringing people together could be the next innovation for the medium, and in cinemas is the natural place for it to happen. Just please don’t allow them to tweet along.

It’s no secret that we’re big fans of The Stath here at Yahoo Movies. There’s no-one else quite like him working in Hollywood today, he's authentically tough, genuinely comedic, and (most importantly) eminently bankable. He’s a Ronseal star, if his name is on the poster, you know what to expect.

[Jason Statham: Most of my characters are one-dimensional]

It’s unfortunate then, that he doesn’t often get the chance to do much more. He’s excellent in his less action-heavy roles like ‘The Bank Job’, ‘Blitz’, or ‘Hummingbird’, but more often than not, he’s just there to crack skulls and take names.

Here’s our plan to elevate The Stath to the A-list: Hollywood needs to team him up with The Rock for a buddy movie. They would complement each other perfectly and it would be box office gold. BEST. MOVIE. PLAN. EVER.

Give original blockbsuters a chance to make a profit.

Time to get serious now. We live in an age where cinemas are dominated by franchises. Every year the box office is ruled by sequels, prequels, adaptations. In 2013, just two films not based on prior franchises made the list of the ten highest-grossing films of the year - ‘Gravity’ and ‘The Croods’.

Hollywood, however, seems to be stuck in the mindset that a $100m-$200m (£60m-£120m) budget is an acceptable outlay for a blockbuster, regardless to whether it has the established audience or not. You only have to take a look at some of the more recent high-profile ‘flops’ to realize this simply isn’t the case any more.

‘Pacific Rim’, ‘The Lone Ranger’, ‘John Carter’, ’47 Ronin’, all came to the market boasting outrageous budgets of around the $200m mark and then people wonder why they don’t make their money back. Studios need to be more tactical when it comes to nurturing new properties to the big-screen.

You can’t make something into a big box office draw by throwing money at it. So we implore you Hollywood, you need to be more effective when it comes to bringing original new blockbusters to the big screen before we’re stuck in rut churning out new iterations of the same old franchises time and time again. We all remember what happened to United Artists after 'Heaven's Gate' don't we?

What new year resolutions do you think Hollywood needs to make in 2014? Let us know below.