Sgt. Bilko 1996

It's been said that there's no sure thing in life, except death and taxes. You can now add a third item to that list: whatever Ernie Bilko is betting on. Master Sergeant Ernest Bilko is in charge of the Ft. Baxter motor pool. That he has the unique distinction of never having looked beneath the hood of a car is completely beside the point. If he's discovered that renting out Army Humvee vehicles is a far more profitable use of one's time, who's to say he's wrong? Under the not-so-watchful eye of the blissfully confused Colonel Hall, Bilko is cruising along the motor pool highway to Easy Street until an old nemesis, Major Thorn, arrives at Fort Baxter. Sent by the Pentagon to assess the dismal progress of a new weapon in development at the post, Thorn sets out to settle a 15-year score with Bilko. For Bilko, it's all complicated further by finding his relationship at a crossroads with his long-suffering girlfriend Rita Robbins, who has been stood up at the altar once too often.