“Brad Pitt smells amazing” Jennifer Lawrence’s date blogs from backstage at the Oscars

Jennifer Lawrence’s best friend Laura Simpson was lucky enough to be the star’s date at this year’s Oscars.

But though the hottest night in Hollywood’s calendar had many highlights - including scoffing pizza backstage and sniffing Brad Pitt - it wasn’t exactly everything she dreamed it would be.

[Oscars 2014: The full list of winners]

In a refreshingly honest MySpace blog, Simpson has revealed all about her night at the Oscars, offering a unique insight into the evening of glitz and glamour.

Simpson, who met fellow Chandler Bing fan Lawrence seven years ago, was understandably thrilled to walk the red carpet alongside the actress. But she described the experience as “hell”.

“Unless you are famous at the Oscars, you are completely invisible,” she reports. “I have never experienced anything like it. The only time anyone talks to you is if you are in the way of his or her photo. Oh and photographers on the carpet yell ‘YOU IN THE HUGE DRESS, GET OUT OF THE F***ING SHOT.’ It's incredible. It is no wonder actors are crazy.”

After slamming a few drinks in the bar to make the night “tolerable”, Simpson headed to the green room with her date - picking up many a secret to spill along the way. Kerry Washinton apparently has a penchant for beef jerky. Glenn Close was sporting a corset and comfortable shoes underneath her gown. Cate Blanchett “looks like a mythical princess from a faraway land”, Channing Tatum is a total gentleman, and Brad Pit… well…

“Brad Pitt smells amazing, like nothing I've ever smelled,” Simpson writes. “Eventually we ask what cologne he's wearing and he tells us, ‘I don't wear cologne, it's just my musk I guess.’ I have to choose not to believe him because it would just be unfair to mankind. Angelina is gorgeous and elegant and they are like The Sun and The Moon.”

[Lawrence 'to take acting break']

And while it might seem the world’s love for Lawrence is a good thing, Simpson wasn’t so positive as she described the crowds that gathered around America’s sweetheart at an afterparty. “We can't enjoy ourselves because everyone, whether they know my date or not, has some weird story they just NEED to tell her as they stand in front of me pushing me out of the circle.”

Sounds like this fame thing isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. It's no wonder J-Law needs a break.