Recently, we asked the BuzzFeed Community about *that one relative* — aka, the weird cousin, the bonkers aunt, or the creepy uncle — that is sort of infamous in your family. Some of the answers were hilariously stupid, while some were horrifying, and others were...well, just see for yourself. Here are 27 wild stories about family members.
1."My cousin stole her mom's boyfriend, whom the mom had a child with, then had two children of her own with this guy. Yeah — [try to] make sense of the connection between siblings, step-mom, step-brother, uncle, aunts, etc."
2."There is a story in my family about my hillbilly cousins who lived in the bustling metropolis of rural Western Kentucky. Their toilet pipes had become clogged somehow and since they were so handy, they figured that the best way to fix the toilet would be to unclog it using a hand grenade. Shockingly, this tactic managed to ignite the house and burn it to the ground, although I think the toilet did get unclogged in the process."
3."My cousin got his hands on a pet alligator. He brought it to my mom's house one day and claimed that it was technically legal to have one until it got to a certain size. The police raided him later for selling drug paraphernalia (he's a glass blower, so yeah, he was — though he did have a license for selling tobacco products at least) and seized the gator. I hope he's doing well (the gator I mean)."
4."Once, in the middle of a conversation in the living room of a family member, [my uncle] stood up, walked towards the corner, turned around so his back was to everybody, and proceeded to pee into a plastic solo cup. His reasoning? 'I didn't want to miss the conversation.' Needless to say, the conversation effectively stopped once this happened."
5."[In the] early 2000s, I took my cousin Bubba to a house party. He knew no one there besides me and my husband. He ended up living there for the next six months."
6."We were camping once, and my cousin walked off into the woods to smoke a joint and take a morning poop. He took a gun along to keep himself entertained. When he finished his joint and poo, he looked back at his pile and naturally decided to shoot it. He returned to the campsite covered in the shrapnel of his bad decision."
7."My dad's second cousin went to prison for stealing. When he came back, he tried to get back with his girlfriend. But his son was already dating her."
8."At Thanksgiving, my cousin snuck her IUD into the mashed potatoes. I still don’t know why she did that."
9."One Thanksgiving dinner a few years ago my cousin got really drunk and proceeded to pull his dick out at the dinner table in front of my whole extended family and point at his genital warts saying, 'look what she did to me!', referring to his girlfriend. That sure got a good reaction from my grandma."
10."My cousin was arrested with some weed, was bailed out and then broke back into the police station that night to try and steal his weed back. He's a family gem."
"EDIT: Been receiving a lot of questions regarding his success in this mission. Let's just say, who knew police stations were difficult to break into?"
11."He was in the news for stalking Taylor Swift a while back."
12."My grandpa had a habit of putting things up his nose and sneezing them out for comedic effect. One Sunday night at dinner, he shoved three kernels of corn up his nose. We laughed pretty hard until we realized only two kernels came out. The third one didn't come out until the following Tuesday. We called him 'the kernel' for at least three months."
13."My older cousin is a raging alcoholic. For our family Christmas party, he asked in the family group chat if he could bring two female companions with him (escorts). When his mom told him no, he took himself out of the family group chat and said he wouldn't be attending. He still showed up and got completely hammered and was mad the entire night. The next day, he was posting on social media that he was enjoying a sober life and he was engaged to his ex-girlfriend a week later. (The engagement lasted two days.)"
14."My uncle took one look at my niece’s perfectly clean, stainless, white couch, and then pooed on it."
15."My cousins on one side of my family suck and are the trashiest people ever. One cousin (female) dated this poor guy, got pregnant, then had his kid. He was a super nice guy but dumb as hell. Anyway, they split up and my cousin immediately gets knocked up by her ex-boyfriend's brother and had another kid. So her kids are cousins and brothers at the same time. Jerry Springer shit."
16."Everyone likes to tell this one story from when my uncle was in middle school (the same middle school I would attend 30 years later) where he got into a fight with one of his teachers. The fight was a literal fist fight that had the teacher throwing my uncle into a nearby row of lockers by his collar and my uncle spitting blood at the teacher’s face and shirt. I don’t believe the teacher faced any repercussions (my uncle was suspended) but he continued to wear the shirt that got spit on throughout the year and everyone could see the blood stain on it. Made my uncle a legend and anyone with his last name, aka my dad, cousin, brother and I, wary of being associated with him."
17."My obscenely rich, condescending, entitled uncle sent out Christmas cards to our working class extended family that said 'proud to be part of the 1%' on the back. That was five or ten years ago and we still quote it frequently — and no, he hasn't improved."
18."My cousin is a criminal, but an inept one. Unable to hold down a real job, he turned to petty burglary one Christmas when he stole all the presents from under the tree while the family was all out at a Christmas show. No signs of forced entry, everyone suspected him but couldn't prove it until he was caught a month later actually using the laptop that was one of the Christmas gifts. But because he's family, no one pressed charges."
19."My stepfather once kicked in my door at 4 a.m. and threw a live chicken on my head. All he said was 'Put that up when you go to school.' Never found out what he was doing with that chicken."
20."My uncle on my father's side, a famous musical artist here in Colombia. He does shows and performances often and has this song where he invites a woman on stage to dance with him for a bit of banter. When I was a teenager I was invited to see his show and for this particular number he invited my mother on stage. He danced with her, then leaned in and gave her a big kiss right in front of my family, including my brothers and my father, as well as my aunt, which resulted in my father leaving the stadium with my mother while she cried."
21."My stepbrother 'Wayne' is a Grade-A moron. At a family reunion, he told my brother that it was 'God’s cruel joke that we have so many hot cousins.' One time, Wayne decided he wanted to work at a locally owned vegetable farm despite having zero experience. He went right up to the owner of this farm and asked for a job. Apparently impressed by my stepbrother’s boldness, the owner hired him. A few days into the job, Wayne decides instead of walking around and spraying weed killer on all the individual weeds, he can save a bunch of time by adding the weed killer directly to the water supply of the automatic watering system."
"Long story short, he caused this poor farmer tens of thousands of dollars by killing all his plants. Another time, he decided to take a chainsaw to our old Christmas tree while it was still in our living room rather than just drag it out to the curb. It made an unbelievable mess and brought an end to a decades-long family tradition of bringing home live Christmas trees."
22."My cousin robbed a taxi driver at knifepoint when the taxi had arrived at the destination…which was my cousin's house. Yes, he went to jail."
23."I have a cousin who is a nurse. She rose to a small bit of TikTok fame by posting videos talking about how she would have no problem unplugging someone’s ventilator at the hospital to plug in her phone. There were a few of these videos and each one made you wonder what was wrong with her. She was promptly fired from her job."
24."My cousin lied to our entire family about getting into a prestigious university. They spent so much money buying him supplies, clothes, and equipment for his dorm room and on the day of enrollment, obviously it all blew up in his face. He continued to deny that he'd lied and insisted that someone had messed up, so they went to his school to get copies of his results which were NOT AT ALL what he'd claimed."
"Needless to say, he eventually came clean but we have not discussed it since. It's just this big, strange lie. It's weird too as our family are not academic, only one of us kids graduated university so definitely not an ounce of competition!"
25."My aunt embezzled money from the family company. Close to $250k in cash. The same aunt did the books for the company and had all three of her sons' cars in the company name. She also taught her sons how to commit insurance fraud (Katrina and BP oil spill), ... ran up close to $10k on my grandmother's credit cards AT A FUCKING CASINO, tried to steal belongings of my grandmother's to pawn...She is finally getting what is coming to her. She's been taken out of the will and the embezzlement and fraud cases are pending."
26."My cousin robbed my dying uncle, then Walmart, then sold a car he did not have a title to. He got arrested for it. Then the story was in the news (online local paper). It read "[Cousin] is charged with robbery, breaking and entering, and car theft. Cousin decided to comment on the story: 'I didn't steal a car.' Trashiest thing ever."
27.And finally..."My uncle gave my dad a drunken lap dance at his birthday party, so there's that."