In our new series called, ‘I need advice’, we bring you pertinent questions that real-life people have asked in publications around the world. These are hard-hitting issues faced by men and women today. The questions could range from family, relationships and work, to abuse and sex.
Here is today’s question:
I don’t like my husband’s family at the best of times. I find them rude, cold and rough. They’re very loud and don’t care about anyone else.
My mother-in-law is a vindictive gossip and my father-in-law has a warped view on practically everything in the world. Then there are my husband’s two younger brothers who are both crooked and obnoxious.
My husband and I are stuck here.
He was in between jobs just before the lockdown, so we decided to give up our rented flat in Mumbai, stay with his parents for the interim, then move to Bangalore, when he begins his new venture. Once we moved in to his parent’s home, the lockdown came into force, and my husband was informed that he has to wait longer before he can join. So we are now living with his parents indefinitely.
The other night, I walked into the living room, and found them all burping, farting and swearing like crazy people, watching gory news on TV.
I don’t know how I stopped myself from sighing. My husband can read me like a book and mouthed: “Sorry.”
I was in bed by 8pm because I simply can’t stand being around them. I’m sick of holding my tongue and not saying what I really think. My blood boils every time the news comes on and my father-in-law says something inappropriate.
Meal times are especially torturous, with my mother-in-law complaining about everything from her weight, to the economy, to the lockdown, to my skin colour (I am a darker skin colour then my husband’s family), having no help (even though I help her at all times), to her woes of not being a grandmother (of course, pointing to our childlessness).
What if I’m trapped here for ever? My parents live in Australia and my sister is in Canada, so I have nowhere to go.
I wish we were a happy family, I wish things were different, but it does not look likely.
I know I’m guilty of taking my frustrations out on my husband. He’s a decent man, but I can’t help telling him he’s useless. It was his idea to come here.
What to do?