When it comes to seemingly indestructible cinematic killing machines, you don’t get much more terrifying or more difficult to beat monsters than the eponymous stars of the ‘Alien’ and ‘Predator’ franchises.
Of course, the long-desired match-up between the two finally happened in 2004’s ‘AVP: Alien Vs. Predator’ and its much-maligned 2007 sequel, which featured Predaliens (a Predator/Alien hybrid), a sympathetic Predator, and a pointlessly confusing mythology.
But let’s take a step back. In ‘Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem’, (*SPOILER ALERT*) the Predator manages to kill lots of Aliens before taking on the Predalien hybrid mano-y-mano. The two creatures then mortally wound each other before getting blown up. In other words, the filmmakers firmly decided that Predators made better goodies.
We thought we’d conduct a slightly more scientific investigation. Richard Freeman is a cryptozoologist, which is the study of species classified extinct, such as the Tasmanian wolf (and in more extreme cases though not Freeman’s, animals not recognized by science). Who does he think would win in a fight between an Alien and Predator?
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“The Alien, hands down,” he says. “Or should I say claws down. If we’re talking a physical match between the two, the Alien would tear the Predator to pieces. The Alien would rend [the Predator] limb from limb. The Predator isn’t that much stronger than a human being. They don’t have the terrifying strength of the Alien, or its razor-sharp teeth, claws and flashing tail.”
What about in the jungle though, the Predator’s natural habitat? This was where the magnificently-mandibled one clinically demolished a team of highly-trained commandos – apart from Arnold Schwarnegger of course, but no-one can beat Arnie – and blew Apollo Creed’s arm off with his fancy weaponry.
“If the Predator had all its technology with it, it might stand a chance if it could shoot at the Alien from a distance,” explains Freeman. “Remember, the Alien has acidic blood, so even if it shoots it [close-up], the acid would kill [the Predator]. Also, the fact that the Predator can become invisible doesn’t seem to matter, because the Alien seems to be able to sense things, so invisibility would mean nothing to it.”
Freeman also admits he would be on the Alien’s side. “Predators are too much like human beings, because they kill for fun,” he says. “The Alien kills to eat and survive.”
So one on one, it’s Aliens all the way. How about if an army of each went into battle against each other?
“The Alien isn’t an individual, it has a hive mind,” says Freeman. “It’s rather like an ant in that it has no sense of self. An ant doesn’t care about what happens to it as an individual, it cares about the colony. The Alien is the same. The Predator might be more intelligent and it might have fancy laser guns, but the Alien will just keep on coming and coming. It doesn’t feel pain, it doesn’t feel fear and it has only one role in life and that is to feed and breed.”
Which apparently means that if the Aliens did decide to attack (or if they were let loose as a biological weapon just like the Weyland-Yutani Corporation always wanted), mankind shouldn’t expect any help from the Predators, even if that’s what happened in the AvP franchise.
“The Aliens would essentially completely overwhelm the Predators, because they have no fear,” says Freeman. “It would be like fighting a gigantic ant colony.”
Still, if a human did manage to kill an Alien themselves, you would get the grudging respect of a Predator. You only have to watch ‘Predator 2’ to know that they admire a good warrior. Just watch out for the Predalien, he (or is it she?) wouldn’t be impressed in the slightest.
Photos: 20th Century Fox/Everett/Rex/Moviestore