"Your husband should respect your daughter's wishes," one Reddit user commented
A bride's decision to ask her mom to walk her down the aisle instead of her stepfather of 14 years has gone viral on Reddit.
On the “Am I the A**hole?” Reddit forum, the bride's mother, who goes by the username PopShort7064, explained that her daughter Calla, 24, had a close relationship with her dad who died when she was 6. The mom remarried four years later, and Calla and her brother Hawthorn, 26, both accepted him as their mom's new husband. However, they both maintained he would never replace the role their dad had in their lives.
"Losing her dad was extremely tough for her," the mother of the bride wrote. "She did form a nice relationship with my husband, but it comes nowhere close to the bond she had with her dad."
The parent then recalled her daughter telling her that if she ever got married she would want her mother by her side when she walked down the aisle. Calla also said she wanted to do a mother-daughter dance.
"I told her we could dance to the song her dad used to sing to her," Calla's mother wrote. "She said she loved the idea. Even though she seemed to mean it, I always assumed things would change when she got older."
But when Calla got engaged three weeks ago, she immediately asked her mother to walk her down the aisle. She also shared that her daughter stuck to the idea of swapping the traditional father-daughter dance for a mother-daughter dance.
"I told her I would be honored. We cried tears of joy together. I told her that her dad would be so proud," the mom wrote.
While Calla's mom was happy with her daughter's decision, her husband felt differently. She wrote that the first question he asked her was whether she suggested she ask both of them to do it.
"I told him no," she wrote. "Then he asked if she ever considered asking him, and I said I could not answer that for her. He asked me if I thought of him when I said yes. He asked whether I gave any thought to all he has done for Calla, for both kids, and the fact he's still not looked upon as a fatherly figure all these years later."
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She added: "I told him I did not think of him when asked because I was overjoyed. He told me I should have given him a lot more consideration and I should have tried to compromise with my daughter."
While the mother of the bride assumed her husband would eventually move past not being asked to walk his stepdaughter down the aisle, she noted that three weeks later he still says he "deserved more from all of us."
In the comments, people have shared their thoughts on the situation and how they think the mother should respond to her daughter's request.
One user wrote: "Your husband should respect your daughter's wishes. Although I wonder, does he feel entitled because he's the stepfather or is he contributing financially with the wedding? If it's the latter, maybe that's why he feels that way? Either way is your daughter's decision."
Another person commented how she thinks the stepdad was likely hurt by the situation.
"I don't think he feels entitled. It's that he feels hurt," the person wrote. "Hurt that he probably just realized that the child he raised since 10 will never see him as a parent even though he sees her as a daughter."
Other commenters wondered why the stepfather felt he was more deserving to walk Calla down the aisle than her mother as they pointed out the inherit sexism of a woman being "given away" by her father.
"The real question here is why does your husband believe he's more entitled to this honor of walking your daughter down the aisle, and 'giving' her away than YOU? You, who is her mother, who has been there through it all, who has comforted and given her a home and place to be herself, unconditionally?" asked another commenter.
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