Caroline Flack’s family have released an unpublished Instagram post written by the TV star ahead of an inquest into her death today.
In the emotional post, which was written in January, the Love Island presenter said her arrest for assaulting her boyfriend meant her world had “collapsed”.
She insisted she was not a domestic abuser and that her alleged assault on boyfriend Lewis Burton was an accident.
Caroline said she had written it “as the truth has been taken out of my hands and used as entertainment.”
The 40-year-old, who took her own life on Saturday, had planned to share the message on social media, but was advised not to.
However, her family have now decided to release it through the Norwich-based Eastern Daily Press newspaper.
Her mother Chris said: “Carrie sent me this message at the end of January but was told not to post it by advisers but she so wanted to have her little voice heard.
“So many untruths were out there but this is how she felt and my family and I would like people to read her own words.
“Carrie was surrounded by love and friends but this was just too much for her.
“Her friends Molly, Lou, Sam, Liam and Simon need a very special mention and lots of thanks for trying so hard to keep her safe.”
She added: “Jody, her twin sister, was there her whole life for her but this time nothing could take away the hurt of such injustice
“As Carrie would say: ‘In a nasty world, just be kind.’”
Her mum added: “It was describing how she was feeling and what she had gone through - no more than that. It was not blaming anyone or pointing any fingers.
“We want people to read it and want it to be shared through the EDP who we really trust and always have done.”
An inquest into the TV star’s death is due to be opened at Poplar Coroner’s Court today.
This is the full message that Caroline Flack wrote and was advised not to post on social media.
“For a lot of people, being arrested for common assault is an extreme way to have some sort of spiritual awakening but for me it’s become the normal.
“I’ve been pressing the snooze button on many stresses in my life - for my whole life. I’ve accepted shame and toxic opinions on my life for over 10 years and yet told myself it’s all part of my job. No complaining.
“The problem with brushing things under the carpet is .... they are still there and one day someone is going to lift that carpet up and all you are going to feel is shame and embarrassment.
“On December the 12th 2019 I was arrested for common assault on my boyfriend ...Within 24 hours my whole world and future was swept from under my feet and all the walls that I had taken so long to build around me, collapsed. I am suddenly on a different kind of stage and everyone is watching it happen.
“I have always taken responsibility for what happened that night. Even on the night. But the truth is... It was an accident.”
It continues: “I’ve been having some sort of emotional breakdown for a very long time.
“But I am NOT a domestic abuser. We had an argument and an accident happened. An accident. The blood that someone SOLD to a newspaper was MY blood and that was something very sad and very personal.
“The reason I am talking today is because my family can’t take anymore. I’ve lost my job. My home. My ability to speak. And the truth has been taken out of my hands and used as entertainment.
“I can’t spend every day hidden away being told not to say or speak to anyone.
“I’m so sorry to my family for what I have brought upon them and for what my friends have had to go through.
“I’m not thinking about ‘how I’m going to get my career back.’ I’m thinking about how I’m going to get mine and my family’s life back.”
This article originally appeared on HuffPost.