Former Hollyoaks star Ali Bastian admits she doesn't always feel like a 'fighter' amid cancer battle

Former 'Hollyoaks' star Ali Bastian has admitted it's hard to feel like a "fighter" all the time amid her battle with breast cancer.

The 42-year-old actress - who is best known for playing Becca Dean in the Channel 4 soap from 2001 to 2007 - was left in "total shock" when she found out the devastating diagnosis at the end of June.

Ali - who now lives in Ireland with her husband and two young daughters - has been having weekly chemotherapy sessions before she undergoes a mastectomy and radiotherapy next year.

And the soap star, who has stage two breast cancer, admits some days it's impossible to hold back the tears.

Sharing a selfie with her headscarf on, she wrote on her Instagram Story: "Some days you don my feel like the fighter people tell you you are, and that's ok too.

"This is not an easy path. There is cortisol in tears and they are better out than in. (sic)"

Speaking to OK! last month about her diagnosis, she said: “It was a total shock.

“I have mornings when I wake up and I’ve forgotten… and then suddenly I remember. I’m still trying to process it.”

Ali was breastfeeding her and husband David O’Mahony's youngest daughter Isabella when she came across a lump.

The mother-of-two - who also has four-year-old daughter Isla with her spouse - shared: “I hadn’t been breastfeeding Izzy at night but then David flew back to London for work and suddenly she was feeding like crazy. I was thinking, ‘Maybe she’s having a growth spurt or something.’ And because of that, my boobs felt sore. The next morning, I woke up and thought, ‘Ouch, this really hurts.’ And that’s when I felt a lump."

Ali assumed she had a "blocked duct" and was given a course of antibiotics, but it wasn't clearing up, so on her doctor's advice, she headed to a breast clinic.

She continued: “It was a bank holiday in Ireland, so I went straight to the emergency doctor.

“It really seemed like I had mastitis, especially as I had been night-weaning Izzy before that. We thought I probably had a blocked duct. The doctor gave me antibiotics and said that if it didn’t clear up in a few days I should go to the breast clinic.

“But it wasn’t clearing up and the more I felt it, the more it felt like this wasn’t just a blocked duct. I went to my GP and I said, ‘Actually, can I go to the clinic now?’ and she was very supportive of that.”

Ali received the shock news via telephone but was reassured that they said they have "intent to cure" her.

Explaining that the clinic was too far to go for the diagnosis, she said: “We agreed that I would text her and that she would then call me back. I could hear it in the tone of her voice, but she told me in the kindest way possible. She was very reassuring. She said the words that I’m holding on to, that they have ‘intent to cure me.’”

The doctors are convinced her cancer is "hormone-driven" and are doing more research to establish if it's genetic, however, her maternal aunt and grandmother also had breast cancer.

She is set to undergo a single mastectomy and was still waiting to hear if doing double is a good idea as a "preventative measure".

The former 'Doctors' actress is also being seen by a psychologist who specialises in oncology and has been given a mentor who has had cancer.

Ali vowed to beat the disease and has every intention of returning to acting.

She added: “I will get through this and come out the other side.

“After my diagnosis, I went on Instagram and saw a post by my friend Dominic Power, my former co-star in The Bill, and I could see he was on set in Hollyoaks. I suddenly had a real pang of, ‘I want to look into an actor’s eyes and do a scene.'

“I really miss it.”