Kody Brown Used to Think Polygamy Was 'Unfair' Because 'I Never Felt Like I Could Get Out' but His Wives Could

Calling his eventual split with Christine, Janelle and Meri Brown a "negotiation," Kody told PEOPLE that he's chosen to "settle into whatever life continues to give me" now that they've "chosen not to be in it"

<p>TLC</p> Kody Brown


Kody Brown

As his plural marriage inched closer to its demise, Kody Brown admits he began to believe that polygamy was "unfair" until he reframed his mindset into something more positive.

In an exclusive conversation with PEOPLE, the Sister Wives star, 55, revealed that he first concluded that "plural marriage was completely unfair" after "much thought, much reflection, much prayer" and long discussions with friends.

He added, "There is not a disparity in fairness if there's not a disparity in choice."

Related: Sister Wives' Kody Brown on His 'Deep State of Mourning' and 'Strange' Transition to Monogamy with Robyn (Exclusive)

<p>Ethan Miller/Getty</p> Kody Brown with his sister wives Robyn, Meri, Christine and Janelle Brown

Ethan Miller/Getty

Kody Brown with his sister wives Robyn, Meri, Christine and Janelle Brown

It wasn't until his marriages imploded that he "removed myself from thinking it was unfair."

"Janelle, Meri, Christine, even Robyn, have their choice whether they stay in this relationship or not," he explained. "Now that they've chosen not to be in it, that choice has been made, then I settle into whatever life continues to give me."

Confessing he'd previously felt like he could never "get out of these relationships," Kody said he had different standards for his wives.

Related: Sister Wives' Kody Brown Officially Commits to Monogamy After Failed Plural Marriages: 'Now I Know Better'

Puddle Monkey Prods/Kobal/Shutterstock Kody Brown with his sister wives and their children
Puddle Monkey Prods/Kobal/Shutterstock Kody Brown with his sister wives and their children

"I always felt like my wives had the opportunity to get out," he continues. "Technically our breakups, mine and Meri's, mine and Christine even, with all my bitterness and frustration with it, it was technically a negotiation. We negotiated a breakup."

"It's been a dark time but I'm moving forward. I'm looking at these women with forgiveness, with love, with kindness. We're going to be connected for the rest of our lives because of our children. The best we can do is be kind to each other," he added.

Within 14 months, three of the Sister Wives patriarch's marriages crumbled. Kody's third wife Christine Brown was the first to leave in November 2021. A year later in December 2022, it was revealed that he had separated from his second wife Janelle Brown. A month after that, the end of his union with his first wife Meri Brown was confirmed in January after the pair's relationship had been platonic and distant for years. Robyn Brown is his only remaining wife.

Related: Robyn Brown Has No Idea What the Future Holds After Family Unraveled: It Felt 'Like There Was a Death' (Exclusive)

While speaking to PEOPLE in December 2023, Kody revealed that he and each of his former wives were all at different points in "accepting" and "rejecting" the changes that have come with the end of their decades-long polygamous arrangement.

"It is sad," he admitted. "It is heartbreaking. You're looking for answers in a state of confusion. Once again, the only answer you can make if you want to have a good relationship is moving forward with a lot of charity."

He continued, "You have to express forgiveness to the people you've been involved with. You have to express understanding and hope that at the end of an era for us as a family, we still have hope of a friendship and a loving or kind relationship with each other in the future because we're bound forever through our kids."

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