Despite Simply Red's refusal to mention it, money can often be too tight. We all need to make an extra couple of quid from time to time and the same can be true for Hollywood stars. But they can't be papped washing cars or selling their old Transformers lunch-boxes at a car boot sale though, can they? What can they do instead? Why, shoot a cringe-worthy TV ad and hope no one ever notices, of course! Well, WE'VE noticed (Hello Leonardo DiCaprio and your $5m Chinese phone ad! We saw you earlier this week...). Here are the worst offenders:
Arnold Schwarzenegger - 1990 - Japan
Now I don't know exactly what Alinamin is, all I know is that this ad is petrifying. Are they saying we'd all turn out like this bizarrely intense, cackling red and gold Arnie if we drank the stuff? Who'd want that?!
Nic Cage - 1999 - Japan
Ah, Nic Cage. You can always rely on him to out-crazy everyone else...
Dan Ackroyd - 1995 - Japan
Dan Ackroyd gives Nic Cage a run for his money though. What's going on here, Dan...? Dan? DAN?
Jennifer Aniston - 2005 - Various
Ditched in favour of two bottles of weak Dutch lager? Now that is embarrassing...
Sly Stallone - Early 80's - Japan
Sly has always flirted with being a respected actor, writer and director while being an action hero. But for every 'Rocky' there's been a 'Rhinestone', for every 'Copland', a 'Cobra'. But here we see him wrap the perfect scene. He's just finished directing a weird-flying-boy-kisses-a-girl-in-a-field scene and it was beautiful. He's a shoo-in for an Oscar. He's going to celebrate. And what better way to do that, than by having a bit of soup, eh?
Sly Stallone - 1992 - Japan
Now he's an Oscar-winning director, Sly decides to take things easy for a bit and play some golf. He tees off. It's a perfect drive... It's a, it's a.. Yeah! It's a hole in one! And what better way to celebrate than by eating a miniature hot dog on a fork, eh?
Tommy Lee Jones - 2008 - Japan
This has to be the most depressing 35 seconds in advertising history. Just look how mortified TJL is throughout this...
Leonardo DiCaprio - 1998 - Japan
Leo again. TV fans across the world who don't watch many US movies may be left wondering who that kid with the hair who advertises every single product available in the world is. If he's not pushing mobiles to China, he's selling them to Italy. If he's not flogging Tag Heuers to everyone, he's advertising Hondas to the Japanese. Here he defects to Suzukis briefly. Can you really see Leonardo DiCaprio driving a Suzuki Wagon Type R...?
Brad Pitt - 1996 - Japan
Oscar-nominated Pitt - one of the world's biggest stars - is relegated to the part of 'Man With Nice Bum in Jeans'. Hang your head, man.
Shameful, shameful stuff all round...
Have you seen any Hollywood A-listers debase themselves worse than this in a TV ad? Let us know if you have below.
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