Bride-to-be 'taken aback' by mother-in-law's decision for wedding: 'Dangerous precedent'

Katie Mather
·3-min read

Scheduling a wedding date is already a logistical nightmare, but now add a family tragedy into the mix.

A bride-to-be posted on Reddit’s Bridezilla forum complaining about her soon-to-be mother-in-law who went ahead and scheduled the wedding date without consulting her son or future bride.

The post has since been deleted, but fortunately, excerpts of the story were saved and the replies are still up.

The user, who goes by JustnoMIL, explained that she and her fiancé had been engaged for two years and had already postponed wedding planning because of the pandemic. When JustnoMIL’s fiancé got a job opportunity he couldn’t turn down, the couple pushed it back even more. That is until the two finally agreed to get married at the end of September and announced it to family members.

According to the post, the mother-in-law got upset about the decision being made without consulting her. The fiancé’s brother had passed away unexpectedly in 2018 at the end of September, so the mother-in-law didn’t want the wedding anniversary to be around the same time as the death anniversary.

“Last week, she told my fianće that since we can’t decide she has picked the perfect wedding date for us, which was Oct. 6,” JustnoMIL wrote. “I was taken aback, she tried to enforce her decision upon us, even made an announcement on social media basically informing her inner circle of family and friends that me and my fianće will be getting married on Oct. 6.”

Furious, the bride-to-be couldn’t tell if she was overreacting to the mother-in-law’s intervention. On one hand, she understands that nobody wants to celebrate a wedding at the same time as they’re mourning, but the couple had picked the end of September for a reason.

“I don’t feel like this is what I wanted,” she said.

Typically, on this Bridezilla forum, the over-the-top parents or difficult bridal party members would receive Reddit’s wrath. In this case, however, Reddit sided with the mother-in-law.

“This is one of the few times I understand the [MIL],” one person replied. “The wedding is just a few days after the anniversary of her son’s death. She has no right to choose a date herself, but she is right to ask the date be moved to a different month.”

“My problem with this OP [original poster] is … really?? what were they thinking in the first place???” another commenter wrote. “Whatever possessed them to think a wedding on/near that death anniversary was a good idea?”

Others, while sensitive to the situation, warned JustnoMIL that this could be indicative of future issues with both her fiancé and mother-in-law.

“The issue is this can set a dangerous precedent,” a user explained. “She completed disregarded a significant boundary simply because she deemed it justified. That does not happen in healthy relationships.”

“If her son can’t stand up to his nutty mother, how will he protect or lead his wife?” someone added.

Think this is bad? Read about the girlfriend who’s made her boyfriend propose four times for a very “annoying” reason.

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