Riverdale teaser showcases new True Detective-like mystery

The new 30-second teaser for Riverdale left us so loopy it’s almost like we were on Jingle Jangle.

Some of the highlights of the teaser:

• Archie shirtless and with what appears to be a Serpent tattoo.

• Alice and FP in bed together! Get it, Alice Cooper! Also, that is quite a tattoo! Also, is EVERYONE a Serpent now?!?!

• Kevin and Moose having a real hot kiss.

• A real creepy tree-person that looks like it stumbled out of the True Detective serial killer lair. So many branches!

• Betty passing out and a cool camera technique.

• Archie in jail!! Orange Is the New Riverdale!!!

• Veronica warning her father, “We will survive whatever you have planned because We. Are. Endgame.”

Riverdale returns Oct. 10 on the CW.