Los Angeles is usually considered a destination for food connoisseurs from around the continent, but that apparently halts to a screeching stop the minute you enter the doors of SoFi Stadium.
Unveiled with a similarity of undigested dog food, the home of the Rams and Chargers served up some deathly delicacies.
There was a lot made of the $15 pepperoni pizza at SoFi Stadium but it was a bigger issue than that. The prices and appearance of many of the food options at the stadium left many fans upset. Here's a look at the Hot Dog, Marinara Pizza, Cheeseburger Sub and Veggie Burger Sub. pic.twitter.com/xUNiN085AJ
— Arash Markazi (@ArashMarkazi) August 16, 2021
The pizza that looks like it was dragged on the floor of a cheap Italian restaurant, and the hot dog that shrivelled up like you’re trying to vacuum seal your duvet, are simply no competition to the grotesquely long burger.
Despite the menu declaring it is a “cheeseburger sub” this hunk of Americana appears to have the dryness of an Arizona drought; the meat cooked to an ungodly level of well done that might have the texture of a brick from a New York brownstone, or will simply crumble under the faintest amount of pressure as you try to actually enjoy watching the Chargers play the game of football.
Underneath the bread and butter pickles that were forked out of a jar from the back, after it was dusted off, is a too-long slice of American cheese that is just extremely unsettling. Whether it is the thickness of it or the way it droops down, hanging out of the concoction, it’s disturbing.
The whole concept of a “cheeseburger sub” is seemingly taken from the idea of the pizza sub, but just making it meatier. A tube of meat and cheese.
Behind this is Jon & Vinny, the duo of LA chefs Jon Shook and Vinny Dotolo that own multiple successful local restaurants and earlier signed a deal to conjure several menu items for the return of a packed SoFi Stadium. The list of “LA Eats” signature items that feature the lengthy burger is inspired by Fairfax, where the two chefs’ places of work are.
They even shot a promotional video with a tantalizing feature of the “sub.”
I just hope they’re able to sleep at night after coming up with this idea.
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