Patrick Dempsey was recently named the Sexiest Man Alive, and I have no doubt that his gorgeous coif contributed to the cause. It’s fitting, then, that just over a week later, The Independent announced its annual pick for “Sexiest Bald Man,” because hair alone does not a heartthrob make. Prince William took top honors for 2023, but many out there didn’t agree with the pick, and Stanley Tucci fans took to social media with their vocal reactions.
The Independent conducted its study through the marketing agency Reboot, which looked at how many times celebrities’ names had been searched online with the words “shirtless” or “naked,” and then combined those results with other factors that might contribute to one’s allure, like net worth, height, vocal attractiveness and, of course, their scalp’s shine factor. In the end, the royal dome shone brightest, but that just wouldn’t do for fans of The Lovely Bones actor, with one writing on X:
Stanley Tucci isn’t sweating over a pot of al dente risotto on TikTok daily for this.
I love to see a man fixing up an Italian feast as much as the next person — especially if the dinners involve his bromance with Robert Downey Jr. — but maybe those videos, no matter how sumptuous, didn’t translate into requests to see Stanley Tucci naked? That’s just a theory, because not only did the Devil Wears Prada actor not beat out Prince William, he failed to show up anywhere in the top 10 list of Sexiest Bald Men. This fan suggested The Independent should be ashamed with itself, writing:
Imagine publishing this when Stanley Tucci exists.
Vin Diesel was relegated back to second place this year, after overtaking Prince William in the 2022 study. Jason Statham came in third, followed by Samuel L. Jackson, Jeff Bezos, Michael Jordan, Dwayne Johnson, Shemar Moore, Shaquille O’Neal and Terry Crews. There are some strong contenders on that list to be sure, but not a Stanley Tucci in sight. Fans continued to air their grievances on X, posting:
Stanley Tucci did not spend his time making filthy cocktails for this injustice. – EmiGarside
Only Stanley Tucci wins this study. – mahobili
This has happened before. It was wrong then, it's wrong now. The Stanley Tucci erasure will never prevail. – ChaosKittyEm
I would like to have several words on Stanley Tucci's behalf. – tchoupa_style
Is the sexy in the room with us?! I’m getting tired of y’all disrespecting Stanley Tucci to prop up this man’s ego. – destinycallzu
Prince William also claimed top bragging rights on this list in 2021, with Stanley Tucci fans vocalizing their displeasure then, too. Dwayne Johnson even spoke out about the Sexiest Bald Men list that year, but his complaints weren’t with being way down in the ninth-place spot or Stanley Tucci’s name being left off, but rather with the publication somehow overlooking Seinfeld creator Larry David’s beautiful baldness.
The Prince of Wales seems to have his spot on the list locked down, but at least Stanley Tucci’s fans are doing their part to put his name in the conversation for next year's list.