After Robert Mueller finally released his report, “Saturday Night Live” still had some things to say. Returning with a new episode on Mar. 30, the late-night NBC series started with a cold open sketch dedicated to the experience.
Robert De Niro was back to play Mueller, reading from the report, while Aidy Bryant played Attorney General William Barr and Alec Baldwin returned as Donald Trump, both responding to the report (Bryant’s Barr through his letter, Baldwin’s Trump through tweets).
“I am reading zero pages, but Sean Hannity has read it and he was so excited he texted me an eggplant,” Baldwin’s Trump said.
Although De Niro’s Mueller admitted they could not draw a “definitive conclusion” on the charge of obstruction of justice, Bryant’s Barr said he did and “Trump’s clean as a whistle,” to which Baldwin’s Trump simply replied, “Free at last, free at last!”
When it came to conspiracy and collusion, De Niro’s Mueller said there were “several questionable instances” found that involved the president’s team, but they couldn’t prove a criminal connection. They indicted several, whom Bryant’s Barr called “very good people.”
“The pardons are already in the mail,” Baldwin’s Trump said.
De Niro’s Mueller noted that he provided much evidence, which Bryant’s Barr said much of was “provided on live television by the president himself.”
“Russia, if you’re watching, go to bed; daddy won,” Baldwin’s Trump said.
On the topic of the other still on-going investigations, Baldwin’s Trump said they were looking into “Democrats, TV shows that have been mean to me and Puerto Rico — that’s right, I want my paper towels back, amigos.”
Finally, De Niro’s Mueller said he still hoped the report would become public, to which Bryant’s Barr said “Hello redactions,” and Baldwin’s Trump said they would “black out everything except the words ‘no’ and ‘collusion.'”
“If you shoot at the devil, you best not miss,” Baldwin’s Trump said, providing an opening for Kate McKinnon to appear as Rudy Giuliani, so the two could discuss how they got off “scot-free.”
Later in the episode, “SNL” showed the other side of the Mueller Report results — the Kremlin side. Beck Bennett played Vladimir Putin, learning that the report found no collusion, much to the dismay of his generals, who believed “the American president worked for Russia.”
Bennett as Putin claimed he never said Trump worked for him and that he didn’t know why Trump would say such nice things about him if they weren’t blackmailing him. “I think he just likes me,” he said. “I can’t figure this guy out. He’s in my head!”
Watch “SNL’s” Mar. 30 cold open and the Kremlin sketch below:
“Saturday Night Live” airs live coast-to-coast Saturdays at 11:30 p.m. ET / 8:30 p.m. PT on NBC.