No one has spent the past decades since Sonic the Hedgehog slipped from public consciousness campaigning for his animated movie comeback.
And certainly no one asked for said comeback to involve frighteningly human teeth.
But that’s the takeaway from the first look at the new Sonic movie, which arrived on the internet yesterday.
Directed by Jeff Fowler, an animator on Where The Wild Things Are and an Oscar nominee for his short animation Gopher Broke in 2004, the new movie finds Ben Schwartz – Jean-Ralphio from Parks & Recreation – voicing the speedy blue hedgehog first seen on your Sega Megadrive.
It also finds Jim Carrey playing the insane scientist Dr Robotnik, complete with bushy moustache and, latterly, a shaved head.
Despite Carrey’s seeming return to his wacky form of the 90s, it’s those gnashers that have captured the public’s imagination.
WHY ARE HIS TEETH SO HUMAN pic.twitter.com/qanTExwjJI
— Preeti Chhibber (@runwithskizzers) April 30, 2019
Look its Sonic and his perfectly normal human teeth pic.twitter.com/jU3mkh9rIb
— Shadow Streak (@AShadowStreak) April 30, 2019
Good morning to absolutely everyone and everything other than live action Sonic the Hedgehog’s creepy human teeth xx pic.twitter.com/yJX6WPW7Li
— Alanah Pearce (@Charalanahzard) April 30, 2019
this is just me but i think. that sonic would have looked LESS scary with improbably angry real hedgehog teeth pic.twitter.com/KhnqtGFjjm
— hokage darkwing (@deedubbayuh) April 30, 2019
I get why everyone is freaking out about how Sonic looks in the trailer. It's because his teeth are not accurate to real hedgehogs.
I fixed it. You're welcome. pic.twitter.com/nUfTE4n5Bt
— Jon Risinger (@JonRisinger) April 30, 2019
But teeth aren’t the only issue, it seems…
Ppl talking about Sonic and his human teeth, but did you see the fingernails? pic.twitter.com/GFPDalejvX
— Sara 🐍 @ BLFC (@ServalSketch) April 30, 2019
I feel like people are focusing too much on Sonic's disgusting little teeth and not enough on Sonic's disgusting little hands. pic.twitter.com/8IGvOqSbxl
— Roscoe, King of the Everglades (@ThePilgrums) April 30, 2019
And this is without any mention of the baffling choice of Coolio’s Gangsta’s Paradise for the trailer’s soundtrack.
Also starring Westworld’s James Marsden as a local sheriff who befriends Sonic, it doesn’t look spectacularly promising from this pretty mirthless evidence.
But we’ll find out for sure when it’s released on November 8, but in the meantime, check out the trailer below… if you dare.