“Mr. President, you need to be a little more careful,” said the parodied Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan as he told Garrison that a worker with ties to Russia was found raped and executed. The show’s Mitch McConnell also chimed in, saying, “Mr. President, people are starting to question your oath to the office,” to which Garrison basically stated that his oath to the office was that he would screw everyone to death. He then told them to be quiet and just go out and put a positive spin on everything. “How are we supposed to put a positive spin on it?” asked Ryan. “It’s getting pretty hard to keep defending you. Maybe it’s time we put our foot down.” However, that was definitely not the right answer and, later, when a reporter asked Ryan how he thought the President was doing on his election anniversary, Ryan shared, “He’s great. We’re doing great. A lot of people judge him and just see the negative. People don’t know how great the President can be behind closed doors. They don’t get to see all his good qualities.”
Pence, Ryan and McConnell were later seen in a dark room colluding over President Garrison’s latest approval ratings, hoping that if the President tanks, they’d have an out. “I’ve been researching our own independent poll. The president is tanking. These numbers are so low that we might just have an out,” said Ryan to McConnell and Pence. “It means that the swing voters are turning against him. It’s those people who matter. Those are the ones who can finally turn this thing around!”
However, in the end, despite learning of his numbers, Garrison said “Everything’s gonna be fine,” as the Republican leaders apprehensively looked ahead to the future.
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