Top 5 awful Michael Bay horror films

Daniel Wood
14 June 2013
Top 5 awful Michael Bay horror films
The real horror is finding out this man is directing or producing another film.


Michael Bay is best known for making huge budget action movies with ridiculous, yet satisfying, action sequences and special effects. His resume consists of films like 'Armageddon', 'Pearl Harbour', 'Bad Boys 1 & 2' and the Transformers trilogy, all films that have been rated fairly poorly by film critics the world over. In fact almost all of his films have been rated poorly by critics the world over.


However despite the lack of critical success, Bay's films have been big box office hits and in total his films have grossed over 3 billion dollars, so it's safe to say the man has a lot of money. What does a notoriously bad director do with a lot of money you ask? Well he sets up a production company called Platinum Dune.


You see, what not many people know is that Michael Bay isn't just responsible for bad big action Hollywood blockbusters (seriously, 'The Island' was terrible) he is also responsible, through Platinum Dune, for some truly terrible horror films as well. Here are the worst five offenders.


5. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)


This is the first of many classic horror movies to be remade by Michael Bay and Platinum Dune, but I'd suggest it's the least forgivable. Tobe Hooper's classic wasn't broken, it didn't need fixing and it didn't need a remake (not re-imagining) that would take everything the first film did so well, and make it slightly less well. For example turning Leatherface from a full raving psychopath to a hillbilly with an extreme skin deformity was just stupid. This film went from being one of the horror films, to just another teenage slasher flick. This film is also responsible for the even worse prequel 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning'.


4. The Hitcher (2007)


Alas another remake (not re-imagining). This time it's a remake of the 1986 film of the same name 'The Hitcher', starring Sean Bean in the antagonist role originally played by Rutger Hauer. But not even Boromir himself could save this film. Seriously if you watch it, you'll feel like you've unwantedly picked up an unwelcome hitchhiker on a rainy drive home. You may even secretly be hoping that that hitchhiker will kill you just to rid you of the memory of this horrific horror film.


3. The Unborn (2009)


Michael Bay gets two points here, one for not remaking a good horror film, and two for casting Gary Oldman. However he then loses those points, one for exhausting the list of horror movie clichés. Seriously there are exorcisms, scary kids, Nazi experiments and evil mirrors. And two, for that ridiculous twist ending that means we may at some point get a sequel. Yay..... No-one else?


2. The Purge (2013)


'The Purge' has only just hit our screens in the UK, and it boasts Lena Headey, who we know can act from 'Game of Thrones' and Ethan Hawke, who was in the excellent horror movie 'Sinister'. It also boasts a rather excellent premise with the emergency services being suspended for 12 hours and all crime being legal. However all of these things, a good film do not make, and we end up with a disappointing film that had a lot to say, but didn't.


1. The Amityville Horror (2005)


Bay can't keep his hands off of those remakes and once again he's taken a fairly decent horror movie, and made it just bad. It's over the top gratuitous horror makes the whole situation ridiculous. The original movie didn't have the budget for the effects that this movie did, so instead it scared the audience on 'what you couldn't see' rather than try to scare them by throwing a multitude of visual ghost/haunting clichés at the audience's faces. No wonder Ryan Reynolds did 'Green Lantern', he must've thought nothing would be worse than this.

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