A woman is wondering if it was OK to call out her boyfriend’s misogynist friends for labeling her a gold digger.
Her boyfriend was embarrassed by her behavior because while his friends insulted her right in front of him, he did not tell them to stop. She, in turn, defended herself by telling his friends the truth: that she made twice his income.
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Now her boyfriend is humiliated because not only did he refuse to stand up for his relationship in front of his friends, but they now know it’s possible for a woman to earn more than a man. Worse still, she cares more about what she thinks than what they think. A frightening revelation indeed!
“I’m in a relationship with a guy who also works in tech. He makes 68k and I make 130k,” she wrote. “I am a mechanical engineer at a robotics startup. He works at a more stable job doing programming at a large company. He brought me to meet his friends at a party and they asked me about myself. His friends mostly work in tech too and talked about themselves in terms of their jobs. I told them I’m a hiker, I do archery, I love road trips and camping and riding dirtbikes, etc. Basically talking about my hobbies because work is just a way to get paid to do the s*** I love. It’s not how I define myself and it doesn’t come to mind when someone wants me to tell them about myself. One of his friends asked about work and I said ‘Oh gosh, I don’t wanna talk about work at a party!…”
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“I wasn’t lying or trying to downplay that I have a good job, that really is how I spent my day, and I wasn’t in the mood to talk shop at a party! Some other conversations came up casually that probably also made me seem poorer like me saying that car dealership repairs were a ripoff, and telling my boyfriend that my childhood neighbor’s trailer caught on fire and I was gonna visit and help her out. I wasn’t doing it on purpose, I was literally just talking about my life, but I guess I gave the impression I was poorer. It got later in the night, everyone was getting drunker, and some of his friends (not close ones tho) were making jokes about me growing up in a trailer and being a gold digger. And being ready to jump to a richer guy. Really misogynistic honestly, since they don’t even know me and seemed to just assume all girls are gold diggers.”
“He didn’t say anything. He later said it was because he’d smoked weed and gets quiet and has trouble carrying on a quick conversation when he’s high,” she said. “But regardless I felt hurt he didn’t say anything. I got irritated with his friends and asked ‘Now why … would you say that when I make twice what he does?’ His friends went quiet for a second and I continued saying ‘There ain’t no gold to dig here, not with him or anyone at this party. So do y’all think I’m cheap, or do y’all think I’m stupid?'”
“My boyfriend wanted to leave the party shortly after and he was pretty upset with me for telling everyone I make twice what he does. I said I would have held my tongue if he’d checked his friends himself. But he didn’t say anything so I wasn’t about to let them talk to me like that. He said it was humiliating and now everyone thinks I’m a b****, and I flippantly said at least they know I’m a rich b****. He was angry I embarrassed him when I spoke up, I was angry I had to say anything at all because his friends were talking s*** so it should be on him to check them. Stuff is still tense.”
Redditors felt the boyfriend was showing his true colors.
“So your boyfriend was too high to say anything to support you but sober enough to complain when you rightly called him and his rude mates out,” a user commented.
“The misogyny here is real,” another wrote.
“Your boyfriend chooses to hang out with people who are misogynistic and judgemental,” a person added.
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