Here Are 9 Pumpkin Foods You Should Avoid

Like death and taxes, pumpkin season is an inevitability. Grocery stores, restaurants, and coffee chains alike seem to embrace autumn fever earlier and earlier with every passing year, and with the onset of faux fall comes an annual influx of new pumpkin products -- some of which are more horrifying than others.

What started with the modest pumpkin spice latte has ballooned into the belief that anything can be pumpkin-flavored if you're brave enough to give it a try. Over the past few years, we've seen brands try to turn everything from pumpkin spice hummus to Pumpkin Spice Pringles into the next seasonal staple. In fact, we saw 58 new pumpkin food and drink launches in the first half of 2023 alone (a timeframe that doesn't even cover the run-up to fall).

Sometimes, we luck out. To many, the likes of Pumpkin Spice Oreos and Pumpkin Spice Philadelphia Cream Cheese have changed fall for the better. However, we still argue that some foods were never meant to taste like autumn (yes, we're talking about the Pringles here). We've researched the worst of the worst to help you and your tastebuds get through the next pumpkin season unscathed. These are the nine products we'll be avoiding when the time comes.

Read more: The Most Useless Cooking Utensils, According To Chefs

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Cheesecake

Trader Joe's is great, pumpkin is yummy, and cheesecake is the food of the gods. Theoretically, this dessert should be an automatic win, yet it somehow misses the mark. When you try to imagine the perfect pumpkin cheesecake, it's sweet (but not too sweet), creamy, and earthy with an autumnal kick -- which, sadly, this is not.

The most common complaint about this particular cheesecake is that it's just too bland and boring. "It's not very flavorful," said one Redditor. "Not a lot of cheesecake flavor or pumpkin flavor or pumpkin spice flavor." When pumpkin-flavored desserts draw a lot of criticism, it's usually because they're too sweet. Sadly, Trader Joe's Pumpkin Cheesecake doesn't even manage to fulfill this basic flavor quota. Even those who typically prefer savory foods have called out the cheesecake for not being sweet enough.

This may not have always been the case. A theory in the Trader Joe's community is that this cheesecake underwent a reformulation at some point, as many remember it being much better pre-2023. Sadly, there's no way to confirm this, but it does likely mean that there's a tastier recipe for Trader Joe's Pumpkin Cheesecake out there in the universe. We can hope that, one day, the grocery store may deign to return it to our shelves. Fingers crossed.

Dunkin' Pumpkin Swirl Frozen Coffee With Cream

Dunkin' may call this a drink, but let's call it what it really is: dessert in a cup. That's not always a bad thing, but if you're going to order a large coffee and consume 1160 calories, 40 grams, and 167 grams of added sugar (which is roughly the same as 14 glazed donuts), you at least want it to taste good ... which this does not.

Like the majority of pumpkin spice coffees, the Dunkin' Pumpkin Swirl Frozen Coffee doesn't contain a single drop of pumpkin. Instead, the pumpkin swirl element -- which can actually be added to any Dunkin' drink during the fall -- is just a mix of seasonal flavorings and brown sugar. Unsurprisingly, this means any drink containing the syrup tastes incredibly, unbearably sweet. That also means that even if you ditch the cream to cut the sugar content, you're still in for an extremely saccharine experience.

It also doesn't taste anything like pumpkin. Critics have compared the flavor to dish soap, alcohol, and even perfume, none of which make for great additions to any beverage. As one disgruntled Dunkin' customer so eloquently put it, "I literally thought that there was accidentally some type of cleaning product in my drink."

Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tarts

Over the years, we've seen Root Beer, Tropical Mango, Strawberry Shake, and even Mer-Mazing Blue Raspberry Pop-Tarts. All of this is to say that niche flavors are kind of the brand's thing, so obviously, Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tarts exist, and they're delicious. Right?

It pains us to say that this isn't the case. When it came to formulating the Pumpkin Pie flavor, Kellogg's was sadly not at the top of its game. Despite being frosted and dusted in sprinkles, these toaster pastries are strangely doughy, which overpowers the sparse pumpkin pie filling.

Even when you do taste the pumpkin, it's disappointing. Despite containing pumpkin, ginger, and nutmeg à la actual pumpkin pie, it tastes nothing like any pie we've ever eaten and it feels more like a struggle than a treat to eat both pastries in a packet. "Truly if there was an evil Pop Tart, it's this," said one Reddit user. We probably wouldn't go quite that far (they admittedly taste slightly better after being toasted, and there are some people who like them enough to compare them to mini pumpkin pies), but we'd definitely give these a miss when stocking up on the next wave of pumpkin products.

Special K Pumpkin Spice Crunch

This is unfortunately another pumpkin-flavored entry from Kellogg's that fails to live up to the hype. While Special K likes to market itself as using "real ingredients to create tasty food," it's received plenty of flak over the years for utilizing some not-so-healthy stuff, such as high fructose corn syrup and refined grains, and containing very little fiber.

The Pumpkin Spice Crunch edition of Special K is no different, which shouldn't come as much of a surprise because it's basically the exact same cereal. While pumpkin and cinnamon feature heavily on the packaging, and the description claims that it consists of "crunchy rice and wheat flakes with nutmeg, allspice, ginger, and cinnamon clusters," it's hard to discern any actual pumpkin flavor to distinguish it from non-pumpkin Special K. As food blogger Junk Banter put it, "The only accurate part of the title 'Pumpkin Spice Crunch' is 'crunch.' It's crunchy as hell but doesn't taste like pumpkin spice. It tastes like Special K."

Pumpkin Spice Peeps

If one look at these tangerine monstrosities and their dark, empty, frosted eyes isn't enough to convince you they don't belong on a grocery store shelf, then maybe trying them will. Peeps -- the beloved Easter marshmallow candy seen in many a basket -- were given a pumpkin spice limited-edition makeover a few years ago, but it wasn't exactly the most successful experiment in the world.

Tasting more like cinnamon than actual pumpkin, each chick is dipped in a light layer of waxy white fudge. Some of the more complimentary reviews compare this combo to a cinnamon roll, while HuffPost less glowingly declared it to be the edible equivalent of a pumpkin chapstick. They may not be the worst flavor that Peeps has ever created (we'll reserve that dubious honor for the nightmare that is Dr Pepper Peeps), but we will say that is the exact kind of treat that adds fuel to the fire of those who believe the industry's obsession with pumpkin spice has gone too far.

Pillsbury's Moist Supreme Perfectly Pumpkin Premium Cake Mix

Buying a disappointing sweet treat sucks, but what's worse is going to the effort of baking your own and realizing that it wasn't worth the time, energy, or money. Sadly, this is the case for Pillsbury's Moist Supreme Perfectly Pumpkin Premium Cake Mix. Like all Pillsbury cake mixes, it's not totally without its strong points. First, as the name suggests, it is indeed moist. The downside is that it just doesn't taste good.

Online reviews for this cake mix are overwhelmingly negative, with the orange shade of the finished product being the only detail that gets singled out as even remotely close to pumpkin. Instead of the warm, spicy kick you'd expect from a pumpkin cake, the Pillsbury cake is often labeled as bland. One Amazon reviewer said it best: "Not so much 'Perfectly Pumpkin' as 'Possibly Pumpkin.'"

This makes sense when you look at the ingredients list, which contains less than 2% dried pumpkin. While some reviewers have noted that they add their own bonus spices, this still hasn't been enough to salvage the final taste. It also reaches a point where you've put so much effort into upgrading a cake mix that you may as well have just made your own cake from scratch (which, in this case, would probably be the better option).

Caribou Coffee's Pumpkin Latte

Even the most ardent of pumpkin spice latte fans will agree that some versions of this beverage are better than others. For every caffeine fix with an autumnal buzz, there's one that doesn't hit the spot. For many, Caribou Coffee's Pumpkin Latte falls into the latter category. With more sugar than the average pumpkin spice lattes that are sold by big coffee chains, it's a tad too sweet for some tastebuds.

Caribou uses real pumpkin purée in its Pumpkin Latte, which is a point in its favor, and tops it with nutmeg. However, it's definitely not for everyone. While most pumpkin spice lattes are gently spiced, this tastes very full-on and can become even more overpowering the further you get through your cup.

There are plenty of variations available for Caribou's pumpkin drinks -- its 2023 lineup included a whopping 15 options, including the Pumpkin White Mocha Cooler, Blended Pumpkin Chai, and the Nitro Pumpkin Latte -- which means you are almost guaranteed to find a combo that suits your preferences if you experiment for long enough. However, if you're just looking for a straightforward, relatively sweet Pumpkin Latte, you may want to give this one a miss.

Hershey's Kisses Pumpkin Spice

Surely nobody hears "Hershey's" and thinks "real, natural flavors," but the least you can still hope for is a tasty treat. Sadly, Pumpkin Spice Hershey's Kisses aren't as good as they sound. While each pale orange, foil-wrapped candy looks promising enough, the first bite delivers a strange, waxy texture that you won't experience with other flavors of Hershey's Kisses, such as Cookies 'n' Cream, Milk Chocolate, or the vastly superior holiday-exclusive Sugar Cookie.

Once you break through that outer layer, the inside is unusually soft, making for a jarring textural combination. We could maybe forgive the texture if the flavor packed a pumpkin punch. Instead, Pumpkin Spice Hershey's Kisses tastes overwhelmingly like Yellow 6 Lake, tocopherols, and polyglycerol polyricinoleate -- in other words, like artificial colors and flavorings that try to capture the taste of autumn but fall more than a little bit short.

Unsurprisingly, this candy contains no actual pumpkin, and is also free of any milk chocolate. This is the closest you'll come to eating a Bath and Body Works pumpkin-scented candle (and we mean that in the worst possible way). In the words of one displeased reviewer: "Stay in your lane Kisses. Stay in your lane."

Trader Joe's Greek Nonfat Pumpkin Yoghurt

Trader Joe's Greek Nonfat Pumpkin Yoghurt has its fair share of passionate haters, with entire Reddit threads created just to dunk on its existence. Its ingredient list isn't dissimilar to an actual pumpkin pie, with a high concentration of pumpkin purée, nutmeg, cinnamon, ginger, and cloves. However, it's clear that something doesn't click, with many wondering how this product made it past the development stage and into grocery store shelves.

It's hard to pinpoint exactly what tastes off about this yogurt. For some, it tastes like ketchup, tamarind, or celery. Others have compared it to eating raw, bitter eggplant or squash. The common consensus is that it doesn't contain enough sugar to balance out the tang that often comes with nonfat yogurts. The issue isn't necessarily that it doesn't taste like pumpkin but more that it tastes too much like unsweetened gourd (which, despite the pumpkin craze, isn't something many of us eat very often). As one reviewer explained, "It tasted like pumpkin and not pumpkin spice. The taste of vegetable pumpkin is just a little odd (and maybe that is what people are not liking)."

Although some people have managed to nudge the flavor of the yogurt closer to pumpkin pie by adding pumpkin pie spice, crumbled graham crackers, and vanilla bean paste, we'd argue that the easiest solution here is to just avoid buying it altogether and select something else.

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