Johnny English v Bond: who’s cinema’s best hero for Brexit Britain?

Pride of Britain: Johnson, English and Bond.
Pride of Britain: Johnson, English and Bond. Composite: Barcroft Media; Allstar/Working Title Films; Kobal/Rex/Shutterstock

Two highlights of Danny Boyle’s celebrated London 2012 Olympics opening ceremony were undoubtedly the Queen parachuting in with James Bond and the surprise cameo by Rowan Atkinson’s Mr Bean, as “first synthesizer” in the London Symphony Orchestra’s rendition of Chariots of Fire. Little did we realise at the time what a torch-passing moment this was.

Six years on, look at where we are. The Bond brand is in crisis. Daniel Craig was only just persuaded to return (with a skipful of cash) but Danny Boyle has walked from directing the latest instalment, and some are wondering whether the franchise shouldn’t just call it a day. Meanwhile, with exquisite timing, along comes a third outing for Atkinson’s own spoof spy in Johnny English Strikes Again. The question is: which one better represents modern Britain?

Most Brits would prefer to think of themselves as Bond: dashing, sophisticated, cool in a crisis, seducing all before them and subduing their foes. But to the rest of the world, they are far closer to English: inept, bumbling, xenophobic, and likely to make any situation worse. In Johnny English Strikes Again, Atkinson launches missiles at French cyclists, burns down a French restaurant, and stumbles around blindly assaulting innocent Londoners (in a virtual reality test gone wrong), while Emma Thompson tells him: “The country is in a state of complete chaos.” Even if you are trying your hardest not to read any of this in the context of Brexit (there, I said it), the rest of the world will not be so generous.

Between English and his other Anglo caricature, Mr Bean, Atkinson is as big a brand as Bond globally. Mr Bean is so huge in China that Atkinson reprised the character last year for a local movie the rest of the world never saw. The animated series is broadcast in 195 countries. Bean is part of the culture. Via an interactive mobile game, he’s the face of tourist promotions for post-Brexit London and he’s the figure every vaguely weak politician is compared to: Ed Miliband, Michael Gove, Boris Johnson, even Theresa May (“the Mrs Bean of British politics” - the Sun). Atkinson himself waded into political waters last month, defending Boris Johnson’s joke about burqa-wearers resembling letterboxes as “pretty good” (to be fair, he was more interested in free speech than fanning Islamophobia – we hope).

According to Atkinson, who’s now 63, Mr Bean has officially retired. Strikes Again will likely be the comic’s last turn as Johnny English, too. But while the press is perennially speculating which actor should be the next Bond, perhaps the more important question is: who should be the next Johnny English? Daniel Craig? Idris Elba? Michael Gove? Let the bidding commence…

Johnny English Strikes Again is in cinemas from 5 October