Roger Moore is celebrating his 89th birthday today.
So by way of marking the auspicious occasion, here are some of the finest words of infinite wisdom from the celebrated raconteur.
“I enjoy being a highly overpaid actor.”
“I speak relatively little, except when I’m at home and I’m asking for things.”
“My acting range has always been something between the two extremes of ‘raises left eyebrow’ and ‘raises right eyebrow’.”
“I’m sorry to say that no, I do not play the piano.”
“Teach love, generosity, good manners and some of that will drift from the classroom to the home and who knows, the children will be educating the parents.”
“Of course, I do my own stunts. And I also do my own lying.”
[On taking the role of James Bond] “When I was a young actor at RADA, Noël Coward was in the audience one night. He said to me after the play, ‘Young man, with your devastating good looks and your disastrous lack of talent, you should take any job ever offered you. In the event that you’re offered two jobs simultaneously, take the one that offers the most money’. Here I am.”
“To me, the Bond situations are so ridiculous, so outrageous. I mean, this man is supposed to be a spy and yet, everybody knows he’s a spy. Every bartender in the world offers him martinis that are shaken, not stirred. What kind of serious spy is recognized everywhere he goes? It’s outrageous.”
[About his son who owns a London restaurant] “You could say he has a ‘License to Grill’.”
“You’re not a star till they can spell your name in Vladivostok.”
“Sadly, I had to retire from the Bond films. The girls were getting younger, or I was just getting too old.”
“If I kept all my bad notices, I’d need two houses.”
“I would love to be remembered as one of the greatest Lears or Hamlets. But, as that’s not going to happen, I’m quite happy I did Bond.”
“I’ve not planned my funeral. I’m not the Queen. A procession through the streets of Stockwell would be nice, I suppose. But when I go, I’d just like everyone to say: ‘He lived longer than anyone I knew’.”