The worst 3D movie conversions

‘Clash Of The Titans’ director Louis Leterrier hit the headlines this week after calling the conversion of his 2010 fantasy adventure into 3D ‘absolutely horrible’.

The director didn’t hold back as he told The Huffington Post: “It was famously rushed and famously horrible. It was absolutely horrible, the 3D. Nothing was working, it was just a gimmick to steal money from the audience.”

Strong words from Double L there, we think you’ll agree.

[3D Clash of the Titans was 'horrible' says director]

The conversion of blockbuster movies from 2D to 3D is perhaps the best recent example of meddlesome execs interfering with movies in order to make them as profitable as possible. This kind of modification has become all too common after the behemoth that was 2009’s 3D fest ‘Avatar’. We take a look at some of the best-known 3D conversions and why you should have perhaps asked for your money back…

‘Alice in Wonderland’ (2010)
It was felt by producers that 3D cameras were ‘too clumsy and expensive’ for this Lewis Carroll adaptation. Clumsy? Perhaps. Expensive? Pffft... Tim Burton’s ‘Alice in Wonderland’ had a budget of upwards of $150m! They should have dug deeper because the post-production 3D was poor, prompting ‘Avatar’ director James Cameron to say after watching it, ‘It doesn't make any sense to shoot in 2D and convert to 3D’. Well said, Jim.

Choice critic quote: ‘It looks like a CGI head trip gone post-apocalyptic. In the film's rather humdrum 3D, the place doesn't dazzle — it droops.’ - Entertainment Weekly

‘Gulliver's Travels’ (2010)
This Jonathan Swift adaptation has Jack Black doing his usual shouty man-child schtick, but this time he’s an even bigger kid than normal. Well, he looks it next to the tiny islanders he upsets in this lazy, unfunny comedy. Not even the contrived veneer of an extra dimension could save this belly-flop. In fact, you could barely even notice the 3D effect. It just made the odd shot look slightly blurry. Great.

Choice critic quote: ‘The 3D’s been slapped on not to add entertainment value but to conceal a lack of dimension in a movie's story or characters.’ - Hollywood Reporter.

‘The Last Airbender’ (2010)
Now you may remember this little number not being particularly well received by critics (to put it mildly). Still, while being daft and messy and rather shoddily-acted, M. Night Shyamalan’s fantasy flick was widely praised for its fantastic special effects. Effects which were almost ruined by unrealistic depths of vision. Still, its dodgy 3Ding didn’t affect ticket sales - ‘The Last Airbender’ was a smash hit.

Choice critic quote: ‘Frustrated by Airbender’s lousy 3D, [my colleague] Peter Sobczynski took off his glasses and guesses roughly 2/3 of the footage was in 2D!’ - Roger Ebert

[Is 3D cinema doomed?]

‘John Carter’ (2012)
Despite being a turkey almost the size of Mars, ‘John Carter’ was not a rushed cash-in movie. Years of hard work, love and obsession went into this epic sci-fi actioner. But all that painstaking attention to detail went out of the window when it was decided after wrapping that it should be converted into 3D. Had they planned for it, we could have had all sorts of aliens and monsters jumping out at us spectacularly. But as they hadn’t, we didn’t. The extra effects added nothing.

Choice critic quote: ‘John Carter’ is just a dreary, convoluted trudge – a soulless sprawl of computer-generated blippery converted to 3D.’ - The Boston Globe

‘Conan the Barbarian’ (2011)
The main problem with this Arnie-free remake is the almost constant darkness. You see, ‘Conan’ was shot for an audience that wouldn’t be wearing big silly sunglasses in dark, dingy little rooms. A lot of the fight scenes (and there are plenty of them as you can imagine) take place in claustrophobic caves or in dusty, smoky areas. Movies originally shot for 3D will bear the dark glasses factor in mind and light scenes accordingly. ‘Conan 3D’ (as it became known) didn’t.

Choice critic quote: ‘Conan’ feels unexpectedly low-rent, even with its multimillion-dollar backdrops and earsplitting, rumbling soundtrack and post-converted 3D imagery.’ - Slant Magazine

Were you less-than-impressed by the 3D afterthought of one or all of these flicks? Why don’t you share your disappointment and vent your three-dimensional spleen below?