The Best Bill Murray Stories Ever

Where Bill Murray is going to turn up next – and what he’s going to be doing when he does – is very much part of why he’s the coolest man on the planet.

Like some wandering Zen philosopher spreading wisdom, the man who brought us Peter Venkman and Phil Connors has a tendency to make people’s days by arriving at random locations, doing stuff, then leaving.

In fact, there’s even a website dedicated to tales of Murray, simply called Bill Murray Stories, and they are many and amusing.

Here are some of the best of recent years:

Engagement Crasher…

Happening upon Ashley Donald and Erik Rogers, a pair of young things having photos taken to celebrate their engagement in Charleston, South Carolina, Bill took it upon himself to help out. “I set the couple down on that little staircase to get ready for a shot and I hear people talking in the back and as I’m looking through the lens, the couple seems stunned and distracted,” said Raheel Gauba of Fia Forever Wedding Photography. “I think to myself – oh great, someone is bothering them – I turn around and I see Mr. Murray standing there with his shirt pulled up and belly proudly on display which he is patting pretty loudly in an attempt to make the couple laugh. Needless to say I was stunned and I invited Mr. Murray to join the couple for a quick shot – He obliged and congratulated them and went on his way… leaving behind an extremely happy couple and this photo that will be forever remembered by this couple (and us!!!).”

Bachelor Party Crasher…

Once again in Charleston (he lives nearby, it’s said), Bill happened upon a bachelor party in a local bar. Though twice divorced himself, delivered some sage advice, not to the groom-to-be, but to the un-wed gents in attendance. “You know how funerals are not for the dead, they’re for the living? Bachelor parties are not for the groom, they’re for the uncommitted,” he said. “If you have someone that you think is The One, don’t just sort of think in your ordinary mind, ‘Okay, let’s pick a date. Let’s plan this and make a party and get married,’” he said. “Take that person and travel around the world. Buy a plane ticket for the two of you to travel all around the world, and go to places that are hard to go to and hard to get out of. And if when you come back to JFK, when you land in JFK, and you’re still in love with that person, get married at the airport.” He then hoisted the groom onto his shoulders to cheers from the crowd.

No One Will Believe You…

One legend has it that he has a penchant for picking up the sandwiches of others in diners, taking a bite, and then delivering the line: “No one will ever believe you.” He’s also pitched up behind people, covered their eyes, and then when they’ve turned around unable to ‘guess who?’, delivered the same line. Of that particular rumour, when questioned about it by GQ magazine, he said: “By God, it sounds crazy, doesn’t it? Just so crazy and unlikely and unusual?” Hmmm.

Poetry in motion…

When the New York literary centre Poets House moved to a new eco-friendly facility at 10 River Terrace in Lower Manhattan in 2009, Bill pitched up and read a series of poems to the mildly bemused construction workers.

Bill the Bartender…

While attending the SXSW music and film festival, he pitched in behind the bar at the Shangri-La in Austin, Texas. Whichever drink was requested, he simply poured a tequila instead. When things started getting too hectic, he ‘took off’ to attend a Wu-Tang Clan show, returning later to the bar with legends RZA and GZA. “I found myself bartending with a Ghostbuster,” said one of the regular barmen. “It was pretty sweet.” He was spotted at many house parties through the week.

Partying In St Andrews…

Bill’s a big golf fan, and as such found himself at a celebrity golf event in St Andrews in 2006. After meeting two Norwegian students in a bar, he accepted an offer to go to a student party. “Nobody could believe it when I arrived at the party with Bill Murray,” said anthropology student Lykke Stavnef. “We met him in the bar and he made some jokes. He was just like the character in Lost in Translation.” He drank vodka out of a mug, and even washed the dishes before he went.

Director of Fun…

Bill has an interest in a number of minor league baseball teams, notably the Charleston RiverDogs. His title is ‘director of fun’. As such, when rain stopped play at a game in 2012, he pounded onto the tarpaulin covering the diamond and performed an impressive skid on his belly to entertain the crowd.

Karaoke King…

After a group of friends at the Karaoke One 7 club in New York spot Bill entering the premises with a lady friend, they invite him into their room. Some time later, he turns up, with said lady friend, and joins the group for a rousing selection of French classics, an Elvis number and rounds of green booze Chartreuse.

Poker In Minnesota…

Legend has it at the reception of one of his brother’s weddings, a young chef was ordered to head out into the dining room to ask if Mr Murray might consider popping back to the kitchen to say hi to the catering staff. After a wave of the hand, the young man presumed he’d been brushed off, only for Murray to hoof the double doors open an hour later carrying two cases of beer and two bottles of whiskey. Asked whether he knew enough people to rustle up a poker game, he then drove the kitchen staff back to the young chef’s apartment in a limousine, drank shots and played cards until he thought it best to return to the family festivities.