The world needs a 'Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle' sequel, so don't let us down Hollywood

Sam Ashurst

Dear Hollywood,

How’s it going? Okay, maybe don’t answer that, we’ll be here all day.

We really don’t want to waste your valuable time, but we actually have something pretty important to discuss with you. Something so significant it could save the world.

Yep, you’ve guessed it – we’re here to discuss Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle. Or, to be even more specific, the possibility of a sequel to Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle – arguably the greatest film ever made.

Wait, wait – come back. We’re not here to bang on about why you shouldn’t make a sequel because it’d tarnish the perfect original, or to criticise your current addiction to franchises; quite the opposite, in fact. We’re here to explain why a Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle sequel could be the most significant movie you ever put into production.

But, before we get to that, we’ve got a confession. We’ll hold our hands up and admit it, we weren’t expecting much from Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle when it was first announced. We know, we know – we got it wrong.

We should have realised that any movie starring that cast – The Rock, Kevin Hart, Karen Gillan, Jack Black, Joe Jonas – would be amazing. But when we heard that the premise was being updated and that Jumanji was evolving from a board-game to a video-game, our first thought was that a) ‘This is going to be a cynical cash-in,’ and b) ‘every video-game movie is terrible – so why make one when you don’t need to?’

Like we said, we were wrong. Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle is the best video-game movie of all time, full-stop. That’s partly because it’s the most faithful. It’s the first film to capture the excitement of exploring an open-plan environment, while adding in the tension of trying to reach the end of a game while your limited allotment of lives are rapidly running out.

But it’s not just good because it gets gaming right – it’s great because it manages to recreate the warmth and weirdness of the brilliant original, which is no mean feat. That film is remembered fondly by armies of fans for a reason. And part of the reason Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle works so well is that some of those fans were involved in the making of it, and they were genuinely worried about getting it right.

“I honestly think I’m the biggest fan of the original Jumanji ever in the world,” Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle star Karen Gillan told us during the sequel’s promotion. “I remember watching it as a child and loving it so much, being so scared of the lion that jumped down the stairs, and loving Kirsten Dunst in the role – especially the moment where she picks up the phone and tells them in a British accent that they have the wrong number, I remember laughing hysterically at that.”

“There was never a question that I was going to sign up for the sequel to one of my favourite movies of all time,” Gillan continued. “When I first heard that they were making a sequel, I felt like a lot of other fans where I was like ‘What are they going to do with it?’ and then I read the script and knew that it was going to be really special.”

And really special it was. So, finally, here’s where we get to the part where we tell you why we need another sequel as soon as possible.

The world’s a bleak place right now. All of the Avengers are about to die, Game Of Thrones is coming to a shocking end, and even the Skywalkers are about to force-shuffle from this mortal coil.

We need a new continuing major franchise, one that’s exciting and emotional, that’s fresh and funny, that’s silly and fun. That stars The Rock.

Yes, Hollywood, it was brave of you to give Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle an actual ending in an industry where every film seems to have a shared universe in place before the first page of dialogue’s been written, but you need to find a way around that.

Because what else have we got to look forward to? The infinite continuation of the DC cinematic universe?! Please, please, save us from that fate.

Give us more Jack Black pretending to be a teenage girl, more jokes about how Kevin Hart is short, and more terrible, terrible kisses between The Rock and Karen Gillan (As Gillan herself told us: “It was absurd and hilarious. I was like ‘What is my job?’ In the script it’s described as ‘the worst kiss in cinematic history’, so we knew we had to deliver on that front.”)

The world could end at any moment. Or, worse, we could all get sucked into a video-game world where we’re allergic to cake. This is your chance to make us happy before that happens. Don’t waste it.

Your friend,

Yahoo Movies UK.

Read more
All your favourite franchises are ending in 2019
‘Jumanji’ Surprise!: How The Rock’s Hit Did the Opposite of What Most Blockbusters Do
Tyrese Gibson fears Dwayne Johnson may not return for Fast & Furious 9